There's a river of birds in migration
A nation of women with wings.
--Libana

I just spent a weekend camping with very close friends, who have become more like family...these are the women I call my "tribe". I met them at an annual event called the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival (MWMF). It happens every August in, as you might have guessed, Michigan. I think next year will be the 37th year - although I'm not sure. I sort of do the math by figuring that the festival is 10 years older than the local folk music festival I work to produce every year.

My first festival was in 2002. I haven't missed a year since. This year, my Aunt and Sister and new niece joined me for part of the week - and THAT was really special.

They had been hearing me talk about the festival and how energizing and empowering it is for me to go unplug for a week in the woods and recharge my batteries by immersing myself music, workshops and community.

It is a festival that's intended for women who were born female and still identify as such. There aren't many events (in fact, I found only one other by googling it) with this specific purpose. So, while I definitely go to lots of other events throughout the year, the uniqueness of this space calls me home in August. It is positively affirming to go to this place where everything is done by women...the plumbing; the wood burning stoves in the kitchen where the meals are cooked; the electricity; building the stage; the stories-high sound and lighting booth....and I know I'm forgetting a LOT that has to happen to bring that community in the woods to life every year.

Anyhow - as I was camping in the state park this past weekend, with my small group of festival friends, I reflected back on this year's Michigan Womyn's Music Festival with such gratitude. It was a tough year for me since it was my first fest without my partner, Becky, who passed away in early 2011 after a fierce and short battle with cancer. She introduced me to fest; I had never even been tent-camping before that year. But my friends came in closer and supported me through it, and gave me space when I just needed to fall apart. So, I reflected on that, too. Mostly, what I'm feeling is a huge amount of gratitude for finding Becky, for finding Fest, and for having the friends/family in my life that I do.

Life is GOOD. And, I'll see you in August.

My friend Natalia and her sister Arianna have started a sister's blog - which led me here....and I had to log in in order to follow their blog (they're very funny and remind me a lot of my relationship with my own sister)....and when I logged in, and saw my own blog, I realized it has been an insanely long time since I wrote here.

If I look at the pattern, it would seem that I blog when I'm grieving. Huh. Interesting pattern.

Ah well - I'm grieving again, so there you go.

Speaking of the grieving process. Wow - it's not linear...it's like a spiraling onion....and I'm trying again to just honor whatever feelings come up, trusting the process and that whatever it is...it's normal. And temporary.

Reading a great book by SARK - one that was gifted to me by my generous friend Diane...it's called "Glad No Matter What - Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity."

I totally buy into it....that grief and loss can give way to something beautiful and growing.

I also believe that we are all spiritual beings having experiences in physical bodies. And if THAT's true....then when our physical bodies die, we're still spiritual beings very much alive.

And yet....even though all that's true....I'm in the midst of some pretty dark grief filled days....and find myself wondering how or if I'll ever really be happy again....or if I'll get to a point in the process where I don't cry every day.

But - more about that later. I'm exhausted....and blogging now would be kinda like drunk dialing. Good to be back, and I have my friend to thank....