I love weather.
I love that my Dad's family chose to live in the midwest when they came over on the boat from Italy....they chose it in part because of the offering of four seasons. Where we're from in Italy, it gets very warm in summer, but in winter, it only gets as cold as early spring does here in the Midwest. Never any snow in the valley where they live, only in the mountains. There were lots of other considerations, as well - having a job lined up, a support network close by, etc.
But, the ability to enjoy all 4 seasons was important to them, and I'm grateful.
Lately, it has been snowing a lot. And, I find myself observing the very different "kinds" of snow that are falling....feeling like the Eskimos have it going on to have so many wonderful words to describe snow.
Yesterday, for example...the flakes were falling with a PURPOSE. They had somewhere to BE. Big, heavy flakes, not much wind. The flakes were falling like rain....straight down.
Today, the flakes are falling more leisurely, with less purpose. They are smaller and more fluffy, somehow. They are floating more than they're falling...like the journey from sky to land is so much more important than getting to ground. Yesterday, the flakes had a job....today, they are playing.
There's another storm watch advisory through Friday now - although the really big part of the storm isn't going to hit until rush hour tomorrow evening. Since I have to go to the brick and mortar office, and yesterday a 40-minute trip took 2 1/2 hours, I'm sort of not looking forward to the hazardous road conditions.
BUT...I'm also kind of excited to see what kind of snowflakes I get to meet tomorrow, too....
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
What a ride...
Reflecting back on the past year, my head feels heavy with all of the grieving my family has done. Two of Mom's 4 sisters died - one, #2/5 - Paulette, died in April; the other, #5/5, Pat, died in September.
Dad's health turned a corner for the worse in June, he spent all of June in the hospital before being released with oxygen and a portable iv pump. He rallied a bit, but never turned the next corner to full recovery. He was home, getting used to the "new" normal and finding a groove....when his defibrillator fired in September. That seemed to mark the start of the final decline. He was in for a week, out for a week...and then in again until mid-October.
He had a usual blood draw on a Monday, and the Doctor called to advise him to go to the nearest ER to be admitted. His kidneys were failing as a complication of heart failure and the heart failure drugs weren't working any more. It seemed unfathomable that we were hearing "there's nothing more we can do".
I spent so much time on the road and in the hospital with him, that the months from June until he gave up the fight in October, are a blur. Stuff got done; bills got paid...but clearly, I was on autopilot.
Dad died very early in the morning, in his sleep, on Sunday 10/12.
They had tried one last thing - the addition of a 2nd inotrope, a "cousin" to the first - on Thursday. On Friday, he really seemed to rally, and we were hopeful that he would at least be able to return home the following week...although it was clear that he was closer to the end of the process, so we weren't fooled into thinking a full recovery would be had.
He was alert. He was talking. He laughed. He had a great appetite.
Then, on Saturday, his blood pressure dipped dangerously low in the morning. It came back, but stayed low-ish throughout the day. He was very weak and winded. He began having strange dreams and talking in his sleep. I got to feed him dinner Saturday night. He wasn't in any pain, but was increasingly uncomfortable.
He wasn't an outwardly emotional man, so we didn't really verbalize a lot....but we shared some long looks...and as I stared intently into the hazel-green-brown eyes that are remarkably like my own, it was clear that we both knew the score. It was very real and very surreal all at once.
I know how he really had a hard time dealing with others crying in his presence...so I did my best to wait until I got to the hallway to fall apart.
He called his Mom at 10:30. We talked until 11. Mom and I tried to negotiate with him to let at least one of us stay with him and then we'd switch in the morning. He told us he wanted us to go home so we could both come back first thing. We left around 1130. He died an hour and a half later.
I know there's always a debate over whether it hurts less when you get a chance to say goodbye with a gradual death or whether it's sudden and unexpected. I got to experience both this year. I can confirm: both suck.
I'm really at a loss for words. Some days are better than others - but really, the grief and sadness are still pretty raw and at the surface. I know all that I'm feeling is "normal" and "to be expected"...and that grieving is not linear....and I trust what "they" say about the process, and that it gets better. I'm trying to honor what comes up and process through to a better place. And...life is really miraculous and there is still so much to be grateful for here in the land of the living...I KNOW this.
But some days, I feel so overwhelmingly and profoundly sad that I do wonder if maybe they're wrong, because I can't see my way clear to the time when I'm not so sad. It seems so remote.
We spent our first holiday without him last week - and it was just weird. I kept looking for him at his usual spot at the end of the table, and when I didn't see him, I felt like he'd be coming in the door any second. His absence was clearly noticeable.
I feel like a homing or orienting device...like a compass or land surveyor's token is missing....and I have to get reoriented to navigation without the steadfast support and friendship of my Dad.
Dad's health turned a corner for the worse in June, he spent all of June in the hospital before being released with oxygen and a portable iv pump. He rallied a bit, but never turned the next corner to full recovery. He was home, getting used to the "new" normal and finding a groove....when his defibrillator fired in September. That seemed to mark the start of the final decline. He was in for a week, out for a week...and then in again until mid-October.
He had a usual blood draw on a Monday, and the Doctor called to advise him to go to the nearest ER to be admitted. His kidneys were failing as a complication of heart failure and the heart failure drugs weren't working any more. It seemed unfathomable that we were hearing "there's nothing more we can do".
I spent so much time on the road and in the hospital with him, that the months from June until he gave up the fight in October, are a blur. Stuff got done; bills got paid...but clearly, I was on autopilot.
Dad died very early in the morning, in his sleep, on Sunday 10/12.
They had tried one last thing - the addition of a 2nd inotrope, a "cousin" to the first - on Thursday. On Friday, he really seemed to rally, and we were hopeful that he would at least be able to return home the following week...although it was clear that he was closer to the end of the process, so we weren't fooled into thinking a full recovery would be had.
He was alert. He was talking. He laughed. He had a great appetite.
Then, on Saturday, his blood pressure dipped dangerously low in the morning. It came back, but stayed low-ish throughout the day. He was very weak and winded. He began having strange dreams and talking in his sleep. I got to feed him dinner Saturday night. He wasn't in any pain, but was increasingly uncomfortable.
He wasn't an outwardly emotional man, so we didn't really verbalize a lot....but we shared some long looks...and as I stared intently into the hazel-green-brown eyes that are remarkably like my own, it was clear that we both knew the score. It was very real and very surreal all at once.
I know how he really had a hard time dealing with others crying in his presence...so I did my best to wait until I got to the hallway to fall apart.
He called his Mom at 10:30. We talked until 11. Mom and I tried to negotiate with him to let at least one of us stay with him and then we'd switch in the morning. He told us he wanted us to go home so we could both come back first thing. We left around 1130. He died an hour and a half later.
I know there's always a debate over whether it hurts less when you get a chance to say goodbye with a gradual death or whether it's sudden and unexpected. I got to experience both this year. I can confirm: both suck.
I'm really at a loss for words. Some days are better than others - but really, the grief and sadness are still pretty raw and at the surface. I know all that I'm feeling is "normal" and "to be expected"...and that grieving is not linear....and I trust what "they" say about the process, and that it gets better. I'm trying to honor what comes up and process through to a better place. And...life is really miraculous and there is still so much to be grateful for here in the land of the living...I KNOW this.
But some days, I feel so overwhelmingly and profoundly sad that I do wonder if maybe they're wrong, because I can't see my way clear to the time when I'm not so sad. It seems so remote.
We spent our first holiday without him last week - and it was just weird. I kept looking for him at his usual spot at the end of the table, and when I didn't see him, I felt like he'd be coming in the door any second. His absence was clearly noticeable.
I feel like a homing or orienting device...like a compass or land surveyor's token is missing....and I have to get reoriented to navigation without the steadfast support and friendship of my Dad.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Culinary Adventures....
So, I told my friend I was buying dinner, that she could pick the place...which basically turned into "Tell me what kind of food you want, and I'll find a place that serves it" (she's not from this area).
Fair enough.
She said she wanted Thai food.
Aside from the fact that I was nervous about there even being such an ethnic place around these stickly parts....I had never had Thai food before.
Before tonight, that is.
Turns out, there IS a Thai place very close to home. We're in luck, I thought....followed quickly by "Oh crap....I hope I find something not too spicy to eat there!"
I don't know exactly what she ordered. Some things that looked like egg rolls - only they weren't deep fried and they were served cold. The wrappers were kind of translucent and the brightly colored items inside shined through. She was dipping them in this red pepper sauce that even SMELLED spicy - it was frightening. For her entree, again....I don't know what it was...but there was lots of really lovely broccoli.
I ordered shrimp and peapods.
Totally DELIGHTFUL. There's even mint leaves in it - it is so yummy! And so different from anything I've had before. The sauce was lightly flavored and very light....
See what kinds of great experiences and adventures one can have if we're just open?
So good.....
warm wishes for a good night from a tired and full girl on a road.....
Fair enough.
She said she wanted Thai food.
Aside from the fact that I was nervous about there even being such an ethnic place around these stickly parts....I had never had Thai food before.
Before tonight, that is.
Turns out, there IS a Thai place very close to home. We're in luck, I thought....followed quickly by "Oh crap....I hope I find something not too spicy to eat there!"
I don't know exactly what she ordered. Some things that looked like egg rolls - only they weren't deep fried and they were served cold. The wrappers were kind of translucent and the brightly colored items inside shined through. She was dipping them in this red pepper sauce that even SMELLED spicy - it was frightening. For her entree, again....I don't know what it was...but there was lots of really lovely broccoli.
I ordered shrimp and peapods.
Totally DELIGHTFUL. There's even mint leaves in it - it is so yummy! And so different from anything I've had before. The sauce was lightly flavored and very light....
See what kinds of great experiences and adventures one can have if we're just open?
So good.....
warm wishes for a good night from a tired and full girl on a road.....
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Back into the normal routine....
Well, after spending much of June on the road and in Michigan, I've had almost 2 full weeks of a normal home routine. I'm back to work and reasonably caught up with work.
Dad, who is in end-stage heart failure (meaning the "normal" cocktail of drugs is no longer working as well as it was), was in the hospital for just about all of June, plus the end of May and the start of July - which is why I trekked back and forth twice.
The first time, he was there for just over 3 weeks. He got out late on a Friday, we met with scads of home healthcare professionals over the weekend to learn how to manage all of his new gadgets (oxygen tanks and drug pumps). I lovingly (if not tediously) placed 3 week's worth of his newly adjusted meds into his jumbo pill-sorting things. All seemed to be stable.
He was home for 3 days. Then, went for 1 of several follow up appointments and landed back in cardiac icu. They apparently wanted to adjust a couple meds and he needed to be admitted in order to do it....and....as long as he was there, they decided to do some of the evaluation steps required to see if he is a candidate for an LVAD (left ventricular assist device.....which, for those of you who followed Grey's Anatomy, is what Denny had). Essentially, it's a mechanical pump that does the work of the left ventricle. There's also an RVAD (right ventricular assist device) and BIVAD (bi-ventricular assist device).....they seem to be used less frequently.
Historically, LVAD's have only been used in situations where a patient is on the transplant waiting list, but needed some pumping assistance in the interim....which got the devices termed "bridge to transplant".
Recently - like in the past 5 or so years - the devices have been approved for long-term or, as they say in the biz, "destination", therapy. Far as I was able to tell, only ONE device has been FDA-approved for destination therapy.
The truly amazing part is that advances are happening really quickly, with all sorts of improvements which ought to really make the devices viable options for end-stage patients. The hope is that improved survival rates with these devices will greatly ease the pressure on the transplant waiting lists because life expectancy rates between the artificial and human transplant options will increasingly become closer.
It was a really interesting process to grapple with, trying to compare having the device vs continuing treatment with an inotrope (primacor). I took the role of trying to get as much digestible information as possible so that Dad could make the best decision for himself. Trying to compare the two options was a bit like comparing apples and oranges - PLUS - there wasn't much information readily accessible regarding long term therapeutic use of primacor. All I was able to uncover is that it is clinically proven to shorten life expectancy, but its intent is to sustain quality.
Dad was really leaning away from the LVAD option, given the invasive installation process (basically, open-heart surgery), the likelihood of being on a respirator, having to have a drive-wire (ie., power cord) coming out of an open wound through his abdomen, etc.
As it turns out, there are some right-heart and lung (i.e., pulmonary pressure) issues which make Dad not a candidate for the LVAD. It makes sense to not install a left-side pump in someone when the right side won't be able to keep up.
I felt really sad when he wasn't eligible. I think it's because, even though he was leaning away from it, it was still an option....and now, it's one less option. He basically has only one option left...and that's the primacor. Dad felt totally peaceful with the "ruling" - and I get that, too - there is something really good about knowing what the deal is. The uncertainty was driving him (and us) crazy.
So, he's home. He's feeling good. He's still got a will and fight to live. His sense of humor is back in keen form - which is something that makes me so happy I could cry!
I hope to be able to write here more regularly....lots of fun stuff coming up in the next few months:
Woodstock Folk Festival on 7/20 (Mark Dvorak, Lou & Peter Berryman, Devil in a Woodpile, Jim Green, Martine Locke, Anna Stange, Twilight Hotel, Dennis Warner, Randall Williams . Check out www.woodstockfolkmusic.com (or see the link to the right) for more info.
Vacation in August! Can't wait for a week of solitude in the woods.....
Dad, who is in end-stage heart failure (meaning the "normal" cocktail of drugs is no longer working as well as it was), was in the hospital for just about all of June, plus the end of May and the start of July - which is why I trekked back and forth twice.
The first time, he was there for just over 3 weeks. He got out late on a Friday, we met with scads of home healthcare professionals over the weekend to learn how to manage all of his new gadgets (oxygen tanks and drug pumps). I lovingly (if not tediously) placed 3 week's worth of his newly adjusted meds into his jumbo pill-sorting things. All seemed to be stable.
He was home for 3 days. Then, went for 1 of several follow up appointments and landed back in cardiac icu. They apparently wanted to adjust a couple meds and he needed to be admitted in order to do it....and....as long as he was there, they decided to do some of the evaluation steps required to see if he is a candidate for an LVAD (left ventricular assist device.....which, for those of you who followed Grey's Anatomy, is what Denny had). Essentially, it's a mechanical pump that does the work of the left ventricle. There's also an RVAD (right ventricular assist device) and BIVAD (bi-ventricular assist device).....they seem to be used less frequently.
Historically, LVAD's have only been used in situations where a patient is on the transplant waiting list, but needed some pumping assistance in the interim....which got the devices termed "bridge to transplant".
Recently - like in the past 5 or so years - the devices have been approved for long-term or, as they say in the biz, "destination", therapy. Far as I was able to tell, only ONE device has been FDA-approved for destination therapy.
The truly amazing part is that advances are happening really quickly, with all sorts of improvements which ought to really make the devices viable options for end-stage patients. The hope is that improved survival rates with these devices will greatly ease the pressure on the transplant waiting lists because life expectancy rates between the artificial and human transplant options will increasingly become closer.
It was a really interesting process to grapple with, trying to compare having the device vs continuing treatment with an inotrope (primacor). I took the role of trying to get as much digestible information as possible so that Dad could make the best decision for himself. Trying to compare the two options was a bit like comparing apples and oranges - PLUS - there wasn't much information readily accessible regarding long term therapeutic use of primacor. All I was able to uncover is that it is clinically proven to shorten life expectancy, but its intent is to sustain quality.
Dad was really leaning away from the LVAD option, given the invasive installation process (basically, open-heart surgery), the likelihood of being on a respirator, having to have a drive-wire (ie., power cord) coming out of an open wound through his abdomen, etc.
As it turns out, there are some right-heart and lung (i.e., pulmonary pressure) issues which make Dad not a candidate for the LVAD. It makes sense to not install a left-side pump in someone when the right side won't be able to keep up.
I felt really sad when he wasn't eligible. I think it's because, even though he was leaning away from it, it was still an option....and now, it's one less option. He basically has only one option left...and that's the primacor. Dad felt totally peaceful with the "ruling" - and I get that, too - there is something really good about knowing what the deal is. The uncertainty was driving him (and us) crazy.
So, he's home. He's feeling good. He's still got a will and fight to live. His sense of humor is back in keen form - which is something that makes me so happy I could cry!
I hope to be able to write here more regularly....lots of fun stuff coming up in the next few months:
Woodstock Folk Festival on 7/20 (Mark Dvorak, Lou & Peter Berryman, Devil in a Woodpile, Jim Green, Martine Locke, Anna Stange, Twilight Hotel, Dennis Warner, Randall Williams . Check out www.woodstockfolkmusic.com (or see the link to the right) for more info.
Vacation in August! Can't wait for a week of solitude in the woods.....
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Six Degrees of Bloggeration
My good friend, Faith (who also happens to be an amazing Pilates coach and wonderful Mom, Wife and all-around human) had a great suggestion:
Someone should start a blog that will simply show us how many known blogs, in multiples of six, it would take to connect all the blogs in the blogosphere. I suspect she is right - we are all a lot more interconnected than we could imagine.
Here's how this will work:
I've listed out 6 blogs that I visit often. (see below)
I've asked those 6 bloggers to visit here and list 6 blogs that they know of. And, "my 6" should contact "their 6" and ask them to post "THEIR 6" HERE on THIS blog as a comment (and including in their post who referred them)....and so on. I'll keep track of the lists of 6 blogs as they come in, including date of addition and which other blog referred them to the 6-degrees experiment. I will try to find a way to draw a "hub map" like what they have on "The L Word", in the meantime.
We need to try to limit repetition, for this to be most effective. So if you see a blog on our Bloggeration list, below, pick a different one.
OK - Here's my 6 - check 'em out....and comment back with 6 of your own fave blogs:
Faith's Big Ideas: bigideas4u.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: This is the woman who provided the idea for "6-Degrees of Bloggeration"! She's such an inspiration to me on so many different levels. In addition to having some great ideas of her own and being generally witty and entertaining, her blog links alone provide hours of fun reading!)
Midlife Clarity: mid-lifeclarity.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: I found Janet's blog by accident, searching for blogs that include Melissa Ferrick and dog training...and it turns out, Janet has lots of other interesting stuff to say!)
Baby's Breath Midwifery: babysbreathmidwifery.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: I found Laura's blog also by accident, as I was trying to research efficacy of some PR support I had done for her sister, Erika Luckett. There must be something in the Luckett family jeans, because, although they have chosen different career paths, these two women are such amazing spirits - all about the miraculous connectivity of the universe. I just love them.)
You Tour Like a Girl: youtourlikeagirl.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: This is my friend Wendy's blog, she is a tour manager for a great musician - Trina Hamlin - and regularly updates this blog with tales of their adventures.)
Jillian's Blog: jillianobriensblog.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: Jillian is one of my very best friends. She has been on an adventure of healing for the past 6-7 months. Her journey, strength, and outlook are remarkable.)
Martine Locke's blog: martinelocke.com/blog/blog.html (6/10 Girl on a Road: Martine is a kick-ass musician. However, I read her blog because she is so open and wise and inspiring - she illustrates for me again and again how universal some things are. Yay Mardi!)
OK - and, because I can....I'm including one extra:
Just Eat your Cupcake : just-eat-your-cupcake.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: I found Maria's blog on Janet's list of blog links. Her perspective and style of writing really resonates with me)
Someone should start a blog that will simply show us how many known blogs, in multiples of six, it would take to connect all the blogs in the blogosphere. I suspect she is right - we are all a lot more interconnected than we could imagine.
Here's how this will work:
I've listed out 6 blogs that I visit often. (see below)
I've asked those 6 bloggers to visit here and list 6 blogs that they know of. And, "my 6" should contact "their 6" and ask them to post "THEIR 6" HERE on THIS blog as a comment (and including in their post who referred them)....and so on. I'll keep track of the lists of 6 blogs as they come in, including date of addition and which other blog referred them to the 6-degrees experiment. I will try to find a way to draw a "hub map" like what they have on "The L Word", in the meantime.
We need to try to limit repetition, for this to be most effective. So if you see a blog on our Bloggeration list, below, pick a different one.
OK - Here's my 6 - check 'em out....and comment back with 6 of your own fave blogs:
Faith's Big Ideas: bigideas4u.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: This is the woman who provided the idea for "6-Degrees of Bloggeration"! She's such an inspiration to me on so many different levels. In addition to having some great ideas of her own and being generally witty and entertaining, her blog links alone provide hours of fun reading!)
Midlife Clarity: mid-lifeclarity.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: I found Janet's blog by accident, searching for blogs that include Melissa Ferrick and dog training...and it turns out, Janet has lots of other interesting stuff to say!)
Baby's Breath Midwifery: babysbreathmidwifery.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: I found Laura's blog also by accident, as I was trying to research efficacy of some PR support I had done for her sister, Erika Luckett. There must be something in the Luckett family jeans, because, although they have chosen different career paths, these two women are such amazing spirits - all about the miraculous connectivity of the universe. I just love them.)
You Tour Like a Girl: youtourlikeagirl.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: This is my friend Wendy's blog, she is a tour manager for a great musician - Trina Hamlin - and regularly updates this blog with tales of their adventures.)
Jillian's Blog: jillianobriensblog.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: Jillian is one of my very best friends. She has been on an adventure of healing for the past 6-7 months. Her journey, strength, and outlook are remarkable.)
Martine Locke's blog: martinelocke.com/blog/blog.html (6/10 Girl on a Road: Martine is a kick-ass musician. However, I read her blog because she is so open and wise and inspiring - she illustrates for me again and again how universal some things are. Yay Mardi!)
OK - and, because I can....I'm including one extra:
Just Eat your Cupcake : just-eat-your-cupcake.blogspot.com (6/10: Girl on a Road: I found Maria's blog on Janet's list of blog links. Her perspective and style of writing really resonates with me)
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Missing Electricity
There were some wicked storms that blew through here on Friday: winds that blew trees sideways, and in many cases, toppled them over. 60-80 year old trees, we're talkin'. Rain....coupled with big fat blizzard-like snowflakes (at the same time).
Around noon on Friday, I heard 3 very loud KABOOM's. They didn't sound as though they were close, based on the subsequent echoes....but the earth (and my house) shook with reverb.
Then, the power went out.
And stayed out.
Until around 1 pm yesterday.
Apparently, 69K people were without power. Our little nook of this county was hit particularly hard.
In an instant, the house was silent. Like - ear-ringing silence. It was amazing. We actually saw many neighbors out and about in the neighborhood - which was a good thing. Neighbors out here in the burbs tend to stay indoors, and I guess with no tv or computers or much of anything to distract them inside, they ventured out.
It didn't really impact us - because we tend to be outside during the weekend anyhow, working on house or garden stuff, walking the dogs, etc. And Beck is way into emergency preparedness, so we are well-equipped with flashlights, candles, even a battery operated radio. She tends to view these sorts of occurrences as an adventure. Although being without her beloved television (TV-Land, Discovery, History....she LOVES TV!) was torturous.
It DID result in a fridge full of food (mostly the stuff in the freezer) thawing out. That sucked. But you know, our budget has been kind of tight here these past couple months, and we don't tend to stock up like we used to - so it wasn't as full as it would have been.
It DID cause me to quit work early on Friday because my laptop battery fizzled after a couple hours.
It DID make it impossible to get our cars out of the garage, because we have a really heavy wood garage door and springs that don't work so good, so our cars really are trapped in the garage when something like this happens.
This was, I think, the biggest impact...on both Friday evening and Saturday morning.
I called my friend, Jillian, to tell her about the outage and my garage door situation. Without hesitation, she volunteered to come pick me up for our evening out. We had been looking forward to dinner at White Castle (of all places! Silvija picked, and neither Jillian nor I had ever been) and then to see Sex in the City. It was a no-brainer for her - "I'll come pick you up, no problem." And then, we matter-of-factly worked out the logistics for when she'd need to pick me up so we could be back south for our dinner engagement.
A couple of things: Not only was this out of her way on a normal day, AND it was rush hour (those two things alone were HUGE!)....but traffic lights were not working (and a HUGE and old and very stately maple tree was halved by the wind, which closed one road entirely). This made the trip very complicated.
I had just been reading a book on Buddhism (It's Easier Than you Think, by Boorstein) and was very much experimenting with letting go of suffering and accepting what was. Jillian, however, was experiencing stress, because (not only did TRAFFUCK SUCK) but we were most definitely going to be late to meet Silvija at White Castle.
Jillian has the must-be-on-time-or-better-yet-early gene (you know, the one I lack - but I'm trying so hard to be better...I want to point out that was ready and waiting outside on my bench for Jillian BEFORE our designated pick-up time....that's saying something. I was so proud! Of course, I had no power for primping, so my getting-ready routine was abbreviated...but still....). Her chief concerns were: Silvija would think we stood her up; or we got the wrong White Castle location (because goddess forbid, there are multiple hideously white castles around, dotting our suburban landscape); maybe Silvija wouldn't even be there by the time we arrived; maybe we would not get to the theatre in time for good seats (since this was the opening night and the majority of tickets were already sold in advance!).....she (Jillian) has this genuine concern and consideration for others.
Me? I was irritated by the traffuck. (Thank you, Wen, for the eloquent term - it is so appropriate) I had let go of being on time to White Castle. We were gonna be late, and I just tried not to stress about that. For the first time, EVER, Jillian was late in picking me up - on account of the traffuck. On a perfect day, it isn't likely that we would have ever made it to White Castle on time; well, maybe if we were birds and could fly a very direct route. And, as we know, this day was less than perfect from a commuting standpoint. It just wasn't gonna happen.
But here's what was cool about it: Jillian, Beck and I each viewed the thing differently and brought a different sensibility to it. Becky pretended she was on a reality show about pioneers, Jillian remained calm (though stressed) and drove safely, skillfully, and quickly. I navigated so we could route ourselves away from roads that had traffic signals, and I continuously tried to reach White Castle on my cell phone (you know, so I could ask the White Castle employee to find the blonde lady and tell her we were on our way? Right. It made sense to me at the time). We were only 15 minutes late - which was miraculous.
White Castle was....different. I was sliding before the movie even started. Nice.
Then, I was unable to go to Pilates yesterday morning, which was a huge deal for me. I know I could have called Jillian to, once again, go way out of her way to pick me up (we're in the same class)....and she totally would have done it, once again, without a second's hesitation. But I didn't know if the traffic lights were working yet (I was betting they weren't), and I just couldn't ask her to make that horrendous trip again.
So, I called Faith at 730 with the heads-up that I didn't have power and likely wasn't going to be able to make it. My Saturday morning practice is a highlight for me, I look forward to it all week. But, one doesn't need electricity to do roll-ups or 100's, so I made-believe that I was there. It wasn't the same.
We couldn't make coffee. This was very bad; almost as disappointing as missing Pilates. We enjoy our coffee in the morning. Not a lot, just a cup. We were tempted to fire up the camping stove and make coffee on the deck.
Just after noon Saturday, the house shuddered as the electricity came back on, the familiar hum of the fridge and air filters whirring again. Clocks all blinking 12. It's amazing how, even when there's nothing "on" in the house, it's still noisy. Huge contrast.
But all in all, aside from missing the connectivity of a computer....the garage situation was the biggest deal. It's one we're going to address once we need to replace the garage door. I'm thinking we won't get another wood door next time.
until next time,
a
Around noon on Friday, I heard 3 very loud KABOOM's. They didn't sound as though they were close, based on the subsequent echoes....but the earth (and my house) shook with reverb.
Then, the power went out.
And stayed out.
Until around 1 pm yesterday.
Apparently, 69K people were without power. Our little nook of this county was hit particularly hard.
In an instant, the house was silent. Like - ear-ringing silence. It was amazing. We actually saw many neighbors out and about in the neighborhood - which was a good thing. Neighbors out here in the burbs tend to stay indoors, and I guess with no tv or computers or much of anything to distract them inside, they ventured out.
It didn't really impact us - because we tend to be outside during the weekend anyhow, working on house or garden stuff, walking the dogs, etc. And Beck is way into emergency preparedness, so we are well-equipped with flashlights, candles, even a battery operated radio. She tends to view these sorts of occurrences as an adventure. Although being without her beloved television (TV-Land, Discovery, History....she LOVES TV!) was torturous.
It DID result in a fridge full of food (mostly the stuff in the freezer) thawing out. That sucked. But you know, our budget has been kind of tight here these past couple months, and we don't tend to stock up like we used to - so it wasn't as full as it would have been.
It DID cause me to quit work early on Friday because my laptop battery fizzled after a couple hours.
It DID make it impossible to get our cars out of the garage, because we have a really heavy wood garage door and springs that don't work so good, so our cars really are trapped in the garage when something like this happens.
This was, I think, the biggest impact...on both Friday evening and Saturday morning.
I called my friend, Jillian, to tell her about the outage and my garage door situation. Without hesitation, she volunteered to come pick me up for our evening out. We had been looking forward to dinner at White Castle (of all places! Silvija picked, and neither Jillian nor I had ever been) and then to see Sex in the City. It was a no-brainer for her - "I'll come pick you up, no problem." And then, we matter-of-factly worked out the logistics for when she'd need to pick me up so we could be back south for our dinner engagement.
A couple of things: Not only was this out of her way on a normal day, AND it was rush hour (those two things alone were HUGE!)....but traffic lights were not working (and a HUGE and old and very stately maple tree was halved by the wind, which closed one road entirely). This made the trip very complicated.
I had just been reading a book on Buddhism (It's Easier Than you Think, by Boorstein) and was very much experimenting with letting go of suffering and accepting what was. Jillian, however, was experiencing stress, because (not only did TRAFFUCK SUCK) but we were most definitely going to be late to meet Silvija at White Castle.
Jillian has the must-be-on-time-or-better-yet-early gene (you know, the one I lack - but I'm trying so hard to be better...I want to point out that was ready and waiting outside on my bench for Jillian BEFORE our designated pick-up time....that's saying something. I was so proud! Of course, I had no power for primping, so my getting-ready routine was abbreviated...but still....). Her chief concerns were: Silvija would think we stood her up; or we got the wrong White Castle location (because goddess forbid, there are multiple hideously white castles around, dotting our suburban landscape); maybe Silvija wouldn't even be there by the time we arrived; maybe we would not get to the theatre in time for good seats (since this was the opening night and the majority of tickets were already sold in advance!).....she (Jillian) has this genuine concern and consideration for others.
Me? I was irritated by the traffuck. (Thank you, Wen, for the eloquent term - it is so appropriate) I had let go of being on time to White Castle. We were gonna be late, and I just tried not to stress about that. For the first time, EVER, Jillian was late in picking me up - on account of the traffuck. On a perfect day, it isn't likely that we would have ever made it to White Castle on time; well, maybe if we were birds and could fly a very direct route. And, as we know, this day was less than perfect from a commuting standpoint. It just wasn't gonna happen.
But here's what was cool about it: Jillian, Beck and I each viewed the thing differently and brought a different sensibility to it. Becky pretended she was on a reality show about pioneers, Jillian remained calm (though stressed) and drove safely, skillfully, and quickly. I navigated so we could route ourselves away from roads that had traffic signals, and I continuously tried to reach White Castle on my cell phone (you know, so I could ask the White Castle employee to find the blonde lady and tell her we were on our way? Right. It made sense to me at the time). We were only 15 minutes late - which was miraculous.
White Castle was....different. I was sliding before the movie even started. Nice.
Then, I was unable to go to Pilates yesterday morning, which was a huge deal for me. I know I could have called Jillian to, once again, go way out of her way to pick me up (we're in the same class)....and she totally would have done it, once again, without a second's hesitation. But I didn't know if the traffic lights were working yet (I was betting they weren't), and I just couldn't ask her to make that horrendous trip again.
So, I called Faith at 730 with the heads-up that I didn't have power and likely wasn't going to be able to make it. My Saturday morning practice is a highlight for me, I look forward to it all week. But, one doesn't need electricity to do roll-ups or 100's, so I made-believe that I was there. It wasn't the same.
We couldn't make coffee. This was very bad; almost as disappointing as missing Pilates. We enjoy our coffee in the morning. Not a lot, just a cup. We were tempted to fire up the camping stove and make coffee on the deck.
Just after noon Saturday, the house shuddered as the electricity came back on, the familiar hum of the fridge and air filters whirring again. Clocks all blinking 12. It's amazing how, even when there's nothing "on" in the house, it's still noisy. Huge contrast.
But all in all, aside from missing the connectivity of a computer....the garage situation was the biggest deal. It's one we're going to address once we need to replace the garage door. I'm thinking we won't get another wood door next time.
until next time,
a
Friday, May 16, 2008
The more I smile, the more you pout - we'll help each other out!
I've felt kind of quiet until now. I was searching YouTube for Ralph Covert video, so I could hear samples of his music and know which cd I needed to purchase from ITunes. I did find good old Ralph, and in the process, came across this little ditty of James Taylor singing to Oscar (the Grouch).....I couldn't help but smile....and (bonus!) I find myself newly inspired to pick up my guitar.
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